Obviously, the true masters of SY Wake wanted their own page, because they’re little shits, so we gave the cats a chance to walk all over the computer and nap on the keyboard until they typed out their profiles (it’s statistically possible).

So….

My name is Kirby, and I am very pretty.  I’m very small, but I’m not a babycat. I am a movie star because I was on the television and I am very pretty, and I am the best hunter in the world.  You should see when I meow and shake my ass a little bit and leap at birds, because I am the best hunter ever and I am very pretty.

 

Hey, girl, you look like you could use a cuddle.  My name is Rocket, and I’m here for you.  It looks like you’ve had a hard day, and I want to take care of you.  I respect you, girl: I know you’re not only beautiful.  You’ve got soul, too.  But maybe you’d like to come chill on the sofa with me.  I bet you could use a cuddle, and I’m the cat for you.

 

Is that your stuff?  Having stuff is fun.  I am Katinka, and I have a lot of stuff.  I have many wine corks and bottle caps, which belong to me, because I am very rich.  For a time I invested in butter and lard, but those assets were lost in a corporate takeover and I have concentrated my wealth on a continual acquisition of Cheetos and other people’s stuff.