Obviously, the true masters of SY Wake wanted their own page, because they’re little shits, so we gave the cats a chance to walk all over the computer and nap on the keyboard until they typed out their profiles (it’s statistically possible).
My name is Kirby, and I am very pretty. I’m very small, but I’m not a babycat. I am a movie star because I was on the television and I am very pretty, and I am the best hunter in the world. You should see when I meow and shake my ass a little bit and leap at birds, because I am the best hunter ever and I am very pretty.
Hey, girl, you look like you could use a cuddle. My name is Rocket, and I’m here for you. It looks like you’ve had a hard day, and I want to take care of you. I respect you, girl: I know you’re not only beautiful. You’ve got soul, too. But maybe you’d like to come chill on the sofa with me. I bet you could use a cuddle, and I’m the cat for you.
Is that your stuff? Having stuff is fun. I am Katinka, and I have a lot of stuff. I have many wine corks and bottle caps, which belong to me, because I am very rich. For a time I invested in butter and lard, but those assets were lost in a corporate takeover and I have concentrated my wealth on a continual acquisition of Cheetos and other people’s stuff.